My dislike for Alexander Downer and all that he has stood for as this country's foreign minister can be comically represented in the following poem (thanks to Darp at Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?):

Alexander Downer
Could his nose get any more browner?
Crawlie crawlie suckie suckie, BUMLICK
Our foreign minister makes me sick.
With a searing hot blowtorch,
His testicles I would fry;
Make no bones about it
Alexander Downer must die!

Alexander Downer
Adelaide Club member and founder.
Send him to Abu-Ghraib, give him a whack!
Clay piping and barbed wire, rammed fair up his crack.
A session with Colin Powell is nigh?
You can’t sit down for the meeting, too bad!
Alexander Downer must die!

Alexander Downer
Says our intelligence couldn’t be sounder.
Lording it over ASEAN, kissing arse to the Queen,
The REAL Queen, not Prince Edward, ya know what I mean?
I’d prefer Sir Les Patterson, cultural attaché, forever belching;
Anything’s better than Bush and Blair dropping their dacks
And saying, “ Hey Downer boy, GET FELCHING!”

I don’t want a foreign minister
Who enforces our subjugation.
I want someone who stands up for us
For an Australia, girt with self-determination.

Alexander Downer
Peter Garrett has you in a flounder.
You cannot relate to the common man
Tsk, quoting song lyrics, a wannabe rock fan.
I wanna see you shit your pants with the ALP polls sky-high
Pull another Tampa, prey on fear, it won’t matter
COS ALEXANDER DOWNER MUST DIE!

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